Embracing Every Day
By Pat Battaglia
Two weeks after her fortieth birthday, Alexa’ LaDuke went for a mammogram, but not for the first time. A mammogram at age thirty-eight had been a precautionary measure for her after five years of infertility treatments. Her first breast imaging experience raised no alarms, and the time that followed passed quickly for this busy nurse and mother of two: five-year-old Kinsley, her daughter, and her three-year-old son, Kaiden. When her landmark birthday arrived, Alexa’ scheduled what was intended to be the first of many screening mammograms. But an area of concern was discovered in a place neither Alexa’ nor her doctors could palpate, and her morning appointment became a full day of additional screening procedures, culminating in a needle biopsy.
Friday, July 13th, 2018 is etched in Alexa’s memory. She remembers sitting on her deck looking at the blue sky, thinking, “Today is too beautiful for anyone to learn they have cancer. It just can’t be.” Shortly afterward, her phone rang, bringing the unwelcome news; she did indeed have breast cancer. While attempting to speak with the radiologist who had performed her biopsy, Alexa’ frantically took notes and strove to keep her voice steady so as not to alarm her children. Her mother, Gerry Bergstrom, was with her. In a five-minute conversation that turned her family’s world upside down, the radiologist advised Alexa’ there would be more medical appointments and decisions to make in the next few days than she ever thought possible.
Acting quickly, Alexa’ consulted a number of breast surgeons and plastic surgeons before selecting her medical team. Three weeks after her diagnosis, she underwent a bilateral mastectomy – removal of both breasts – with reconstructive surgery using tissue harvested from her back. Alexa’s intended three-day hospital stay was extended to six days to ensure her pain was controlled and her blood work was in the normal range. Her mother remained by her side the entire time.
Three days after she arrived home, Alexa’ received a visit from two nursing friends, who noticed her color changing. Her temperature began to rise. Gerry called Alexa’s cousins, Sue and Kurt, who came to stay with the children. Mother and daughter headed to the emergency department, where Alexa’ was admitted to the hospital. Gerry again remained in her daughter’s room, this time for five days, while Alexa’ received intravenous antibiotics for an infection, an uncommon post-operative complication. The antibiotics had the intended effect and cleared the infection completely.
When Alexa’s surgical pathology report became available, it showed estrogen and progesterone were growth factors in her tumor. This meant her cancer would respond to targeted hormonal therapies. A lymph node removed during surgery was also found to contain cancer cells. Chemotherapy and radiation, which had been on the radar for Alexa’ and her doctors, became strongly recommended.
Chemo came first. The most challenging side effects for Alexa’ were bone pain and fatigue, so she hired a nanny to help ensure her children’s lives and activities would remain as close to normal as possible. A cold cap, which she opted for during her chemo infusions, helped keep her hair loss at around fifty percent; an amount noticeable to her but barely detectable to others. Knowing that the success of cold cap therapy varies widely from person to person, Alexa’s choice was driven by the desire to maintain as much normalcy as possible for Kinsley and Kaiden, including their mom’s appearance. For her, it was helpful.
While recovering from her hospitalizations, Alexa’ found it difficult to hear her children’s laughter drift in through her open bedroom windows and not be part of the fun. She received photo texts from close friends, Monika, Nicole, and Giovanna, who graciously took her kids on adventures. But feelings of distance from her children’s lives were, for Alexa’, hard to bear. Her first post-op goal was to be in the driveway when Kinsley left for her first day of Kindergarten. Not only was she the driveway, Alexa’ went to orientation and on a field trip in the middle of chemo.
After chemotherapy was finished, radiation therapy came next for Alexa’. The weeks of treatments meant daily trips to the cancer center, and Alexa’ is grateful she did not experience any side effects from this treatment. Gerry witnessed the emotional moment when her daughter rang the bell in the waiting room of the infusion center signifying the end of active treatment. (Read on for her words about that experience.
Ten months after her diagnosis, Alexa’ underwent a complete hysterectomy to reduce the risk of recurrence of her estrogen-based cancer. That risk is further reduced by a daily oral medication, Tamoxifen. She also receives monthly infusions of the bone-building agent, Zometa.
Shortly after her diagnosis, close childhood friends Nicholas Haralambides and his sister, Jenn, steered Alexa’ in the direction of the Coalition, where she met with our Director for a Breast Cancer 101 session. After being matched with a mentor through our PALS program and attending support groups and Healing Arts classes, Alexa’ has forged deep connections within our survivor community that sustain her to this day.
Sadly, Alexa’s marriage ended about a year after she was diagnosed. But she is not flying solo. She, Gerry, Kinsley, and Kaiden – along with their two beloved dogs – form a complete household and enjoy life to the fullest. The many life changes she underwent prompted a career change for Alexa’, who retired from nursing to open her own interior decorating business, Style of Serenity (www.styleofserenity.com).
In a heartfelt journal entry, Alexa’ wrote, “I drive and think of things pre-cancer and look back upon them with such rose colored glasses…all I think is how I want to go back to those carefree days where my biggest worry was how to accomplish all I had to do that day…Those are the days I thought were so stressful. The days I wished would pass quickly. Now I realize that those were the days to love and to embrace.”
Alexa’ now embraces every day. h
Alexa’s story appeared in the Voices of the Ribbon, Summer 2020 edition.
Embracing Every Day
By Pat Battaglia
Two weeks after her fortieth birthday, Alexa’ LaDuke went for a mammogram, but not for the first time. A mammogram at age thirty-eight had been a precautionary measure for her after five years of infertility treatments. Her first breast imaging experience raised no alarms, and the time that followed passed quickly for this busy nurse and mother of two: five-year-old Kinsley, her daughter, and her three-year-old son, Kaiden. When her landmark birthday arrived, Alexa’ scheduled what was intended to be the first of many screening mammograms. But an area of concern was discovered in a place neither Alexa’ nor her doctors could palpate, and her morning appointment became a full day of additional screening procedures, culminating in a needle biopsy.
Friday, July 13th, 2018 is etched in Alexa’s memory. She remembers sitting on her deck looking at the blue sky, thinking, “Today is too beautiful for anyone to learn they have cancer. It just can’t be.” Shortly afterward, her phone rang, bringing the unwelcome news; she did indeed have breast cancer. While attempting to speak with the radiologist who had performed her biopsy, Alexa’ frantically took notes and strove to keep her voice steady so as not to alarm her children. Her mother, Gerry Bergstrom, was with her. In a five-minute conversation that turned her family’s world upside down, the radiologist advised Alexa’ there would be more medical appointments and decisions to make in the next few days than she ever thought possible.
Acting quickly, Alexa’ consulted a number of breast surgeons and plastic surgeons before selecting her medical team. Three weeks after her diagnosis, she underwent a bilateral mastectomy – removal of both breasts – with reconstructive surgery using tissue harvested from her back. Alexa’s intended three-day hospital stay was extended to six days to ensure her pain was controlled and her blood work was in the normal range. Her mother remained by her side the entire time.
Three days after she arrived home, Alexa’ received a visit from two nursing friends, who noticed her color changing. Her temperature began to rise. Gerry called Alexa’s cousins, Sue and Kurt, who came to stay with the children. Mother and daughter headed to the emergency department, where Alexa’ was admitted to the hospital. Gerry again remained in her daughter’s room, this time for five days, while Alexa’ received intravenous antibiotics for an infection, an uncommon post-operative complication. The antibiotics had the intended effect and cleared the infection completely.
When Alexa’s surgical pathology report became available, it showed estrogen and progesterone were growth factors in her tumor. This meant her cancer would respond to targeted hormonal therapies. A lymph node removed during surgery was also found to contain cancer cells. Chemotherapy and radiation, which had been on the radar for Alexa’ and her doctors, became strongly recommended.
Chemo came first. The most challenging side effects for Alexa’ were bone pain and fatigue, so she hired a nanny to help ensure her children’s lives and activities would remain as close to normal as possible. A cold cap, which she opted for during her chemo infusions, helped keep her hair loss at around fifty percent; an amount noticeable to her but barely detectable to others. Knowing that the success of cold cap therapy varies widely from person to person, Alexa’s choice was driven by the desire to maintain as much normalcy as possible for Kinsley and Kaiden, including their mom’s appearance. For her, it was helpful.
While recovering from her hospitalizations, Alexa’ found it difficult to hear her children’s laughter drift in through her open bedroom windows and not be part of the fun. She received photo texts from close friends, Monika, Nicole, and Giovanna, who graciously took her kids on adventures. But feelings of distance from her children’s lives were, for Alexa’, hard to bear. Her first post-op goal was to be in the driveway when Kinsley left for her first day of Kindergarten. Not only was she the driveway, Alexa’ went to orientation and on a field trip in the middle of chemo.
After chemotherapy was finished, radiation therapy came next for Alexa’. The weeks of treatments meant daily trips to the cancer center, and Alexa’ is grateful she did not experience any side effects from this treatment. Gerry witnessed the emotional moment when her daughter rang the bell in the waiting room of the infusion center signifying the end of active treatment. (Read on for her words about that experience.
Ten months after her diagnosis, Alexa’ underwent a complete hysterectomy to reduce the risk of recurrence of her estrogen-based cancer. That risk is further reduced by a daily oral medication, Tamoxifen. She also receives monthly infusions of the bone-building agent, Zometa.
Shortly after her diagnosis, close childhood friends Nicholas Haralambides and his sister, Jenn, steered Alexa’ in the direction of the Coalition, where she met with our Director for a Breast Cancer 101 session. After being matched with a mentor through our PALS program and attending support groups and Healing Arts classes, Alexa’ has forged deep connections within our survivor community that sustain her to this day.
Sadly, Alexa’s marriage ended about a year after she was diagnosed. But she is not flying solo. She, Gerry, Kinsley, and Kaiden – along with their two beloved dogs – form a complete household and enjoy life to the fullest. The many life changes she underwent prompted a career change for Alexa’, who retired from nursing to open her own interior decorating business, Style of Serenity (www.styleofserenity.com).
In a heartfelt journal entry, Alexa’ wrote, “I drive and think of things pre-cancer and look back upon them with such rose colored glasses…all I think is how I want to go back to those carefree days where my biggest worry was how to accomplish all I had to do that day…Those are the days I thought were so stressful. The days I wished would pass quickly. Now I realize that those were the days to love and to embrace.”
Alexa’ now embraces every day. h
Alexa’s story appeared in the Voices of the Ribbon, Summer 2020 edition.
